Transforming My Life with 10 Powerful Instagram Story Questions

A few years ago, I hit rock bottom. Overwhelmed with sadness, anxiety, and a sense of purposelessness, I felt completely lost. In an attempt to find my way out, I started a series of weekly questions on my Instagram story, seeking not just to connect with others, but to understand myself. This week, I’ve revisited this practice and reflected on 10 powerful questions that have guided my journey. In this post, I share my answers, struggles, and the advice that has helped me move from darkness to self-belief. I hope these reflections inspire you to take steps toward your own transformation.

Three years ago, I was in a really dark place. When I woke up, I felt nothing but darkness. I was overwhelmed every second with sadness, anxiety, fear, anger, and negativity. I felt lost and without purpose.

While spiraling, I had the idea to start posting “Weekly Questions” on my Instagram story. They were mostly created as a way for me to ask myself those questions, and then they started to help me realize I wasn’t alone. I created the questions, posted them on my story, and would wait to see how my friends and followers answered them.

I could look at individual answers, but most of the time I never did so. It felt like an invasion of privacy, and I wanted people to feel comfortable answering them honestly. I looked at the results as a whole. I just wanted to see if other people felt the way I did, and it gave me peace when I would see that others chose the same answer as I did.

I stopped doing my weekly questions for a while, mostly because I had other things on my mind and didn’t feel like putting in the effort. But when I look back on this, I realized I also stopped asking myself these questions and spent less time being introspective.

I’ve come a long way from where I was a few years ago, and I’ve worked hard every second of every day to drag myself out of a hole I once felt like I could never escape.

On my road to recovery, I realized that the only person who could change my life was me. No one was coming to save me, and only I had the power to change my thought patterns and the way I reacted to situations. I am responsible for how I see the world, and I’ve worked tirelessly to see the world as positively as I can.

Of course, I still have hard days. Even as I write this post, I have anxiety, I am sad, I feel a bit lost, and I am stressed because I feel like I’m not where I’m meant to be. But my new mindset tells me that this is only temporary, and I need to live in the present and keep working towards what I want out of life. I believe in myself, and I will get there.

Yesterday, I brought back my weekly questions because I am struggling, and from the results, I noticed a lot of you are struggling too. But I’m here to tell you that you are in control of your life and that you are not alone. You can do anything you put your mind to, and if you are struggling, you need to put in the effort to make a change.

Below, I’m going to write out my 10 weekly questions from yesterday’s Instagram Story series along with my answers, struggles, and advice. Hopefully, you can take something away from this, and hopefully, it motivates you to make the changes you’ve been wanting to make. You’ve probably heard it before, but I think there’s some quote somewhere that goes something like “it takes one little snowflake to start a snowball down the hill,” and it’s true… baby steps in the right direction can be the catalyst for something incredible.

DISCLAIMER: I am 27, I live at home with my parents, and I am only rich in experiences. By no means do I have life figured out, so please take my advice with a grain of salt. Only you can figure out what’s best for you; my advice doesn’t really matter.

WEEKLY QUESTIONS: July 17, 2024

#1: If you died tomorrow…can you say you’re happy with the life you’ve lived?

My answer: Yes. If I died tomorrow, I can say that I’m grateful for the life that I have lived so far, but there are so many things I want to do, and I hope I am able to do them.

My advice: If you answered “no,” ask yourself what you need to change to be able to answer yes. Why are you dissatisfied with your life? Are you working to change your life so you can feel satisfied? What do you want? What do you value? What makes you feel alive, and why aren’t you doing that?

#2: Have you set any goals for this year?

My answer: Yes. I have a list of goals in my phone notes. I also created a mood board for my life’s goals, and it’s my iPhone lock screen, so I see it every day and continue to manifest the life of my dreams.

My advice: If you answered “no,” you should create some goals and write them down. Before you go to bed tonight, spend 20 minutes thinking about it and write down 3 personal goals, 3 financial goals, and 3 career goals. Keep this note in your phone and come back to it often. Even if you won’t achieve these goals this year, it’s OKAY! There is no timeframe, and you don’t need to be so hard on yourself. The idea is to start thinking about a life that you’re proud of. This exercise helps bring those ideas to life. Even if they mostly sit at the back of your mind, they will now be written down, which will help you subconsciously work towards achieving them.

#3: Are you taking action to achieve your goals?

My answer: Yes. I am taking action and doing little things every day to help myself achieve my goals. Looking at them, I still feel very far away from being able to cross them off my list, but I know I’m closer to that than I was 6 months ago.

My advice: Think about the snowflake effect I mentioned earlier. The action you take doesn’t need to be a huge step, but small steps over time will add up. Take 10 minutes out of your day, or even out of your week, to start working to achieve 1 of your goals. It may take time, but you’ll get there if you continue to put in the work.

#4: Do you say something and then do it? Or do you just say it and seldomly take action?

My answer: I have worked very hard on this, but it’s because I’m utterly terrified to be someone who is all talk. I get so annoyed at friends and family who constantly complain about things but DO nothing to make a change. It doesn’t happen with everything, and I work at this every day, but I try my best to take action on the things I talk about. If I say I’m going to do it, I mean it.

My advice: If you’re a big talker but don’t take action, you’ll live a meaningless life. Words mean nothing if the action that follows doesn’t back them up. Do you really want to be someone who always talks the talk but doesn’t walk the walk? Do you want that for yourself? Do you want to wake up one day in your 70s and look back on your life in regret because you never did any of the things you said you wanted to do? You could come at me and say, “Jianna, it’s not that easy.” Well, of course, it isn’t. Nothing is really easy, but it’s your life you’re wasting by not taking action.

#5: What is your primary reason for not taking action?

Choices: fear of failure, anxiety, I feel lost/don’t know the first step, other

My answer: The primary reason I haven’t taken action in the past is because I felt lost and didn’t know the first step to take. I still feel lost, and I don’t always know the first step. Sometimes I’m afraid of failing, sometimes I have anxiety, and sometimes I feel stuck or like there is too much on my plate for me to start making changes. But honestly, this is all bullshit.

My advice: I don’t know if you’ve realized this yet, but none of us really know what we’re doing. We’re all afraid of failure. Adults struggle with anxiety, and so many of us feel lost and don’t know the first step, but all successful people had to start somewhere. They took a step, any step! They failed time and time again. They powered through their anxiety and fought it as hard as they could to make it a manageable whisper while they took a step, even if it ended up being the wrong one. They started walking and continued to try and learn and fail and get up again and again until something worked out. START TRYING! Even if it’s for an hour a week broken up into 5-minute segments, start trying, start taking your baby steps, and do something.

#6: Do you feel stuck in life?

My answer: YES. I feel fucking stuck. I feel stuck in a society I never felt like I fit into. I feel stuck trying to do what I want and being complicated by appeasing the needs of others, not having enough money, not getting the social reach I work so hard to find. I feel stuck all the time. I feel stuck at home in Arizona trying to make more money and spend time with family before I can get back to where I feel happy.

Right now, all I can think about is leaving and going back to traveling. I feel like I’m wasting time and only existing here when just last month in Asia I felt ALIVE. I know this is only temporary, and I keep having to remind myself that I will be able to get back out and travel again, but it doesn’t help me from feeling stuck. My reminders of this temporary halt to my travels don’t keep me from crying every day or feeling overwhelmed by anxiety, but not every day is going to be a great day, and I have to do my best to find a little happiness here every day until I am able to go back to living.

My advice: If you feel stuck in life, you are not alone. You may be held back by things like not having enough money or being committed to other arrangements… but you need to ask yourself… are the reasons you feel stuck actually keeping you stuck? Or do you just need the courage to stand up for yourself, think outside the box, and find a way for you to unstick yourself? It’s 2024, you can find a way to make money online and not work the job you hate. It’s not going to happen overnight, but the solution is out there if you are willing to find it.

Are you staying with someone you know that isn’t good for you or doesn’t make you happy? You have the power to end the relationship no matter how hard and impossible it feels. You can do it, work on healing, and then rebuild. Are you doing things because you feel like you have to? Do you really HAVE to? Think about it deeply… not because your parents or partner want you to do it, not because this is how society works, etc. You don’t have to do anything. You are in control of your life, and if you have to disappoint a few other people to be able to make the right decision for yourself, it’s worth it. They will move on, and if they are mad because you’re trying to make a better life for yourself…fuck ‘em anyway.

#7: Are you waiting for someone else to save you?

My answer: No, I’m here to save myself.

My advice: If you answered yes, you will be waiting your entire life. You’ll be passed along from one fake savior to the next, and you’ll never actually be saved because the only person who can save you is you. If you’re looking for the perfect partner to fix your problems, news flash: they don’t exist. No one can fix you or fill the voids in you if you can’t fill them yourself. It sounds cheesy, but your savior isn’t out there. You are your own savior, and you have the power to fix all of your problems on your own.

#8: Are you confident in your independence?

My answer: Yes. It’s taken me a long time to get here, but I am confident in myself and my independence. I’ll admit that most things are better in good company, but if you can’t be good company for yourself, you’ll always be searching for something you’ll never be able to find.

My advice: If you’re not confident in your independence, that’s okay, but you should work at it so that one day you can be. When I had no confidence and was depressed and suicidal, I started working on myself because I knew that if I didn’t, there wouldn’t be anything to work on. One of the ways I worked to grow my confidence was standing in the mirror, naked after a shower, and complimenting myself on 3 things.

At the beginning, I couldn’t even look in the mirror, and some days I had to pivot to compliment myself on little things like “I like how you love your cat, Dae” because I couldn’t find anything physical or emotional to praise about myself that day. Over time, this became easier, and it helped me grow my self-confidence a lot. It also helped me love myself even when I used to only see imperfections.

This week, I challenge you to take yourself to dinner, alone, and avoid using your phone the whole time. I know it’s hard to sit with only your thoughts, but make a game of it. Try making characters for the other people in the restaurant or think about how you’d decorate differently. You could even use this time to think about your goals and visualize how you want your life to be. All we have in this world is ourselves. We can only fully rely on ourselves, and you’ll never fully feel lonely if you are confident in your independence. You got this.

#9: Do your friends help you grow?

My answer: Some yes, some no. It’s crazy to think about how many amazing and deeply real friendships I made while traveling the last four months. Even crazier to think that I feel more connected to and supported by people I met for only a few days than people I’ve known for years.

On my trip, something I really struggled with was thinking about the friendships I was disappointed in. I had people who I thought were my best friends before I left that didn’t once reach out to me while I was gone. They didn’t show me any support on my posts or hard work, never checked in on me or even sent a simple “can’t wait to hear about your trip!” Hell, I had more support and check-ins and praise and concern and attention from people I barely know!

Of course, I’m not talking about everyone because I have some amazing friends who I know were cheering me on and supporting me even if we seldomly talked. I love you dearly and thank you from the bottom of my heart. I took a real leap of faith on this trip and worked hard to create a better life for myself, and it did sting a bit to find out that some friendships I placed so much value on really didn’t hold value for the other party. But hey, that’s life.

My advice: You’re only as good as the company you keep. Don’t you want to surround yourself with those who inspire you and motivate you to do more with your life? If you have friends who aren’t kind to you, who hold you back, or who only want you when it’s convenient for them… drop them. You don’t owe them anything, but you owe yourself everything. Stop wasting precious time and energy on one-sided friendships. You know you deserve better. People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

#10: Do you challenge yourself daily or do you prefer to stay comfortable?

My answer: I challenge myself. At home, it’s harder for me to do this because I’m comfortable in my setting, and it’s easier to be comfortable than to challenge myself, but I gotta keep trying. How am I supposed to grow if I don’t push myself out of my box? Also, I found that I’m most comfortable when I’m uncomfortable. Meaning that I’m more comfortable walking the streets of a city far away that I know nothing about and struggle to communicate with the locals than I feel comfortable sitting in my room at home. Call me crazy, but I don’t like stability all too much.

My advice: You don’t have to be crazy like me and quit your job, buy a ticket, and go traveling with no plan to challenge yourself. You can do little things each day that are outside your norm to help you grow. Challenge yourself to get home from work a new way without using Google Maps. Challenge yourself to switch up your Chipotle order. Try the carnitas, babe. Next time you can go back to the chicken bowl if you don’t like it.

You don’t have to be as extreme as me to challenge yourself, but you should be challenging yourself in some way every day. If you’re happy being comfortable, that may work for you, and honestly, I’m envious! Life seems a bit easier that way, or maybe it isn’t. The grass is always greener, eh?

Wrapping Up

I wrote this week’s questions because they were personal to me, and I am working through my own stuff and keeping myself accountable, an interactive check-in if you will. I hope you enjoyed them, and I will continue to do them because I find them fun to create and hope to at least get a few other people to take a couple of minutes out of their week to think about the questions and their answers to help them make positive changes in their lives.

Thanks for your participation.

Follow me on Instagram @Jiannacapri to join in on next week’s questions and stay connected! I’d love to hear your thoughts and see your answers.